Adult Dating History

Yes, I watch MTV‘s show Jersey Shore. It is the best worst show on television. It is like watching a car-wreck happen; I can’t look away. However, it hit me the other day, the young generation of today is watching Jersey Shore for all of the wrong reasons and are taking all the wrong lessons from the show. Let me explain.

1. Sex

Growing up I was always told I should wait until I fell in love and had a girlfriend before I had sex for the first time. Of course, when I was in high school those “rules” were changed slightly, but I still lost my virginity to a girl that I was dating, and we ended up staying together for a little over a year.

The kids (adults) on Jersey Shore treat sex like a hobby or past time. They have no emotional connections, and fuck just for the sake of fucking. It’s sad really because the youth of today are probably watching the show and thinking that these actions are the norm. THEY AREN’T. Don’t think because Snooki decides to “do sex” one night that you can go out and sleep with anyone you want. These JS kids are not normal and are on a television show.

2. The English Language

These dumb ass kids are clearly not educated. Using words like “smush” to describe sex and “twinning” to describe bringing home twins to “smush” makes me cringe. Whats even worse is hearing teens on the streets use these words in actual sentences. They’ve also created a bunch of new and ridiculous abbreviations such as but not limited to: GTL, DTF, FTD, GFA, IFF and MIA. Ugly women are “grenades” and daily routines are summed up into one abbreviation:GTL- gym, tan, laundry. Somewhere all of the great philosophers who ever lived are rolling in their graves.

3. Dating

The way dating is portrayed on the show is between Ronnie and Sammie. They beat each other up, get obliterated drunk and verbally abuse the shit out of each other and spend all night “making up” in bed and repeat the whole scenario again the next night. This is not normal behavior. This is abusive behavior, but young people are watching it and they are thinking it is normal, which leads to an increase in abusive relationships. Great, way to go MTV.

4. Enjoying an Alcoholic Beverage

Everyone on the show sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, and go clubbing all night until the wee hours of the morning. They drink as much as humanly possible (maybe even more) and glorify the fact that they are drunk/hungover/drunk and getting laid/ drunk and fighting/drunk and basically anything.

They live their lives on TV like a constant frat party. Of course, someone of my age an intelligence knows that these kids probably don’t live every day of their lives like that and MTV edits a lot of shit together to make for more on-air drama, but young kids don’t know that. They take everything at face value. So many kids go out and party like idiots because of this show. I’m not saying I was a saint back in the day, but I knew my limit and I wasn’t sick and hungover every single day.

When you picture your ideal adult dating relationship in your head, what is the age difference between you and your partner?

Have you ever noticed that as you get older, age difference becomes less and less important. When you were in high school, you would probably get called names for dating someone five years younger or older than you. In your twenties, it is possible than a significant age difference between you and your partner may cause a stir amongst family members and possibly friends. But when you’re in your thirties I don’t believe it matters anymore.

Think of it this way. Do you have any younger siblings? Would you consider it weird to date your younger sibling’s friend? The same goes for an older sibling, or a parent’s co-worker. Would you feel comfortable in that situation? If you are twenty four, would you date someone ten years older than you?

Another argument could be that age doesn’t negate a personality. There are some women under the age of twenty-five who are mature enough to date men in their thirties and forties. And there are men in their thirties who have the same level of maturity as sixteen year old girls.

And finally, there are some men and women who believe that “age ain’t nothing but a number”, and as long as you are of legal age they will be willing to have sex with you. Hey, if the shoe fits, right?

If you have sex with someone knowing full well they are dating someone else, are you at fault?

There are two very opposite, very compelling arguements regarding this extremely common topic. Let us hear both sides of the story and then decide for ourselves.

Side One

If you are the “third person” in an affair, you technically aren’t doing anything wrong. You are single and having sex and having fun. If the person you are “having fun with” happens to be in a relationship, that is their issue and not yours. It’s not like you forced them to hook up; they made that decision on their own. Hell, they even seduced you. You know they are having as much fun as you are, and even though this may be breaking up a relationship, it is not your fault.

Side Two

You know full well that you are destryoing a relationship. How would you feel if you found out your partner was cheating on you? You would probably want to wring the necks of both your partner and the “cheatee”. Knowing this, how can you have a proper affair? You are being a huge hypocrite and your actions are extremely disgraceful. There are millions of men/women in this world for you to start a sex dating relationship with, why do you have to choose and be with someone who already has a significant other?

Decision

If you are going to sleep with someone who is taken, you should know better, but at the end of the day it is their issue and not yours.

In the dating world, men and women can be treated very differently by society and by each other just because they are two different sexes. This is because of evil double standards. Some people say that traditions of dating between men and women have been ingrained into society and that is why women get perks in some aspects of the relationship, whereas men get other perks and vice versa. I have compiled a list of the most blatant and most common double standards in the world of adult dating.

1. Breakups

Men seem to get shafted when it comes to breakups. Unless the woman did something blatantly horrible like cheating on him with his best friend, the double standard will come into play. If a man breaks up with a woman, he is a jerk. If a woman break up with a man, it must mean he is a jerk. Either way, men are screwed.

2. Paying for a Meal

Back in the times when chivalry wasn’t dead, it was assumed that men should pay for the meal. These days, this topic is often debated. Deciding who should pay for a meal should be based upon who asked who out for the date. Seems fair. Well, the double standard here is that, most of the time men are the ones who initiate the date. Rarely do women ask men out.

3. Cheating

Now this is a tricky one, as I personally don’t believe anyone should be having sex outside of their monogamous relationship. However, many people believe that if a woman slips up and cheats in a relationship it is because her man was not satisfying her in some way; somehow her decision to cheat is her man’s fault. And the double standard here is if he cheats, it is because he has a man and an uncontrollable libido which gives him the need to band anything in sight.

4. Whipped or Clingy?

If men want to spend quality loving, relaxing time with their women, they are viewed by their friends etc. as being “whipped”. If women want to spend a lot of quality time with their man they are seen as the “clingy” girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend some quality time with each other, it is good for the relationship and helps with bonding.

5. Glorified and Ostracized

In a relationship that is not exclusive and everyone is aware that both parties are allowed to see other people, men are always seen as a “pimp” or “da man” if they hook up with as many ladies as possible. On the other hand, if a woman does the exact same thing she is deemed a “slut” by society. Is this fair? Not at all.

Women don’t necessarily have to be visually stimulated in order to get off. In fact, it is easier for some woman to fantasize about having sex with a certain someone as opposed to watching an adult film. Women fantasize about sex, having sex, watching people have sex, etc. a lot more than some men may think or care to believe. A lot of women think up some pretty saucy fantasies, and wish to act them out with the men they are dating. Here is a list of some of the most common thought out female sex fantasies.

1. Domination (Both being the dominatrix and submissive)

The idea of being in charge and holding power in the sexual relationship is just as much of a turn on as the polar opposite – being submissive and not being able to control anything that is being done to you; don’t forget your safe words!

2. Teacher/Student

Pretending you are having sex with someone that society frowns upon is a major turn on. Being told you can’t do someone or something just makes you want to do them/it even more.

3. Sex with a Stranger

No-strings attached, no worries about what your mutual friends will think; this sounds like perfect sex.

4. Threesome (with another woman OR man)

Everyone has some sort of threesome fantasy. Double the pleasure, double the fun.

5. Voyeurism

Knowing you’re being watched have sex secretly by a third party intensifies sex.

6. Force Fantasies

I don’t want to call these “rape fantasies” for obvious reasons, but women love being pushed up against walls, having their arms and legs held down in a forceful manner, etc.

7. Exhibitionism

Just because women may say “no” to making a homemade porn flick with you doesn’t mean she hasn’t fantasized about being in porn at  least once in her lifetime.

8. Private Dancer

Basically the same as above. There is no way a woman would give up her job and become a stripper, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t fantasized about giving you your own private lap dance.

9. Man in Uniform

There is something about a man in uniform that drives women’s libidos wild. They look proper, prestigious and powerful. Enough said.

10. Sex in Water

There is something naughty about sneaking around and fooling around in a pool, lake or hot tub.

It’s a small world after all. What would you do if you were in a semi-decent relationship where you were completely under appreciated and did everything you could to make sure the level of trust was built up to where is should be but your partner was too insecure, or had too many commitment issues? It’s frustrating and tiring to try and convince your parter that you love, and who you know loves you that there is no threat to the trust in a relationship. But, then again, sometimes the people you’re dating can’t change their ways and will always think there are underlying causes as to why you got home five minutes later than expected (and no, you weren’t having sex with some random).

So, what would you do if you became close friends with a coworker? Say this coworker was extremely good-looking, you two had a lot in common i.e. mutual friends, or you grew up in the same town. It’s very easy to fall for a man or woman you are really good friends with, despite being in a relationship or not. Let’s reference The Office for a moment. Jim and Pam’s characters always had great chemistry. Pam was engaged to be married to Roy who worked in the same building in the warehouse. As the days crept closer to her wedding, Jim was falling more and more in love with Pam. He confessed his undying love for her, and even though she felt the same way towards him she could not break away from the wedding to Roy. Eventually  she dumped Roy before the wedding and ended up marrying Jim. Happily ever after.

This whole concept may seem uncommon, or unlikely, but it is very common for coworkers to develop sexual or even romantic feelings for each other. Think about it, you spend eight hours a day with each other – you’re bound to either love them or hate them – plus you probably know every detail about their lives based on the fact that you’re always around each other. Maybe office romances aren’t such a bad idea after all. Actually, yes, yes they are.

Obviously there are many different thing you and your partner can say to each other during sex to enhance the experience, but according to a recently poll conducted by a Sirius Cosmo radio show there is one phrase a woman can say in bed that will please her man every time, and there is one phrase that a woman can say to please herself while in bed every time. These phrases will skyrocket your sex dating lives. What are the phrases you may be asking?

The One Phrase a Man Wants to Hear in Bed

“I’m coming!”

The one thing a man is constantly thinking about during sex is if he is pleasuring you correctly. Hearing you say you are about to climax just reminds him that he is doing a good job of pleasuring you and hitting all “the right spot”. The idea to him that you are about to orgasm and past the point of no return is extremely hot for him, and is also a “go ahead” for him to climax as well considering it takes women longer to reach that point than men.

The One Phrase a Woman Wants to Hear in Bed

“I love how you [verb] my [body part]!”

Women love verbalizing things or certain actions during sex because it focuses their attention of the act and can heighten the intensity and pleasure of it for them. Saying “I love when you nibble on my ear” or “I love when you lick the inside of my thigh” is a woman’s way of helping herself experience the pleasure that she is feeling. It’s like eating really good food; sometimes talking about how good the food you’re eating is can actually make it taste better. Also, the phrase helps you to stay in the moment. If your mind tends to wander during sex, this can be a good trick to help keep you focused and pleasured.

I’m a huge advocate for spicing up things in the bedroom, and if that’s what you and your dating partner are into there’s no problem with that. However, sometimes the best, most intimate sex is the simplest kind.

I have heard of a few unfortunate cases where trying outrageous new bedroom positions have landed couples in the ER. That doesn’t sound like the biggest turn on in the world, am I right? A lot of these extremely kinky positions like the wheelbarrow don’t allow for maximum stimulation of the clitoris, which is what women need in order to get off. Sometimes the basic three positions are the best.

Missionary position is extremely underrated. Yes, it’s received a bad rep what with the term “starfish sex” and the stereotype that most women just lie down and take it. This is not always the case. Women can thrust their hips back at their partners and get a good rhythm going. When this happens you won’t care what position you’re in, the sex will feel too amazing.

Having her ride you is also another simple position. Because the female is on top she can control the speed, intensity and this position allows for maximum clitoral stimulation. Also, men love it because their woman is taking control. Men can stare up at their beautiful partners and also get in the groove with them.

Finally, doggy style is another vanilla position that men and women both love. Men feel pressured to make their partners climax during sex, and many of them would prefer the “easy positions” over anything super-acrobatic any day.

No matter what position you decide to engage in, stimulating yourself while he’s in you is never a bad idea. Hey, busting out the sex toys isn’t either. Sex will feel hotter, and you’ll be much more likely to orgasm.

These days many people are skeptical about finding someone to date for sexual purposes only. Finding a friend with benefits, fuck buddy, or sex friend is really not uncommon at all. Sex dating does work and can be healthy for your sex and love life.

The biggest worry most people have is that the line between no-strings-sttached sex and making love may be crossed. Especially by the female party. It is more common amongst women, scientifically. after a woman orgasms she releases a hormone in her body called oxytocin. This is what makes mothers bond with their children, but when having sex it can trick a women into feeling a sense of comfort and trust in her sexual partner. No wonder it has been nicknamed “the cuddle hormone”. No need to worry though, if you and your partner have laid out the clear grounds that you are hooking up with each other for sex and sex only, then it is possible to live a healthy lifestyle at the same time.

Be careful not to cross that line. Spending time with each other in such an intimate way can definitely lead to  the possibility of one party beginning to feel more than just a sexual connection. Be alert for signs and signals that you or your sexual partner may be falling for you in some way or another. This may be a sign that the sexual relationship needs to end, pronto. On the other hand, if you’re both feeling it, why not take things to the next level?

Also, you will want to make sure that you both mutually agree on the specifics of your sexual relationship. If you don’t want it to be exclusive (which would normally be the case) make sure you both know that. There is nothing worse than sleeping with multiple people and your partner isn’t aware, or even worse finding out your partner is sleeping with other people and you had no idea. Be sure to get checked for STDs on a regular basis and practice safe sex. Just wearing a condom isn’t enough when you are engaging in a sexual based relationship. Even if your partner tells you that they aren’t being intimate with anyone else, you can never be too sure of that. Always get tested.

Here are some interesting facts you probably didn’t know about all of your favourite sex toys and lubricants. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for a history lesson on vibrators, dildos, lubes, etc.

Fact: Sex toys and vibrators are banned for retail sale in Alabama and Mississippi. Harsh! Maybe their governments are afraid people will stop dating each other if sex toys become easily available.

* In 350BC olive oil was used for purposes other than cooking (think lube)

* In 1200AD the Chinese invented the cock ring

* In 1400 AD the dildo was invented in Italy. Usually made from wood or leather, I’m sure a lot of olive oil was used for proper usage (or at least I hope so, ouch!)

* The vibrator was invented in the 19th century to reduce ‘hysteria’ in women

* In 1899, McClure’s magazine published America’s first ad for a home electric vibrator. It was called the “Vibratile” and promised to cure headaches, wrinkles and of course, hysteria.

* In 1941 the first sex doll was created in Nazi Germany. Figures.

* In 1998 the infamous “Rabbit” made it’s appearance on HBO’s Sex in the City. After the episode aired, the demand for the pink pleasure toy skyrocketed.