Adult Dating History

It is never a good feeling to have, but it does happen. You’re finally dating a man that you genuinely like – possibly even love – and you get the feeling he doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe its the fact the he just got out of a long term relationship, or he is in some way still in contact with his ex. These following steps may shed some light on whether he is over his ex or not. Keep in mind, these are just possibilities – NOT hard facts.

1: If he’s constantly texting her.

If your man is in contact with his ex on a regular basis it does not mean he still has feelings. If he is constantly checking his phone to see if she has messages or refuses to show you the texts if you ask to see what they are talking about then you may have a problem on your hands.

2: If they attend a wedding together.

Okay, so they used to date for a while and probably have a lot of mutual friends who are getting married. It only makes sense that they attend the wedding as each other’s plus ones. However, if the thought of them dancing together, drinking together and possibly spending the night together makes your stomach turn than your should mention this to your man. If he has any sense at all he will take you as his date to the wedding.

3: If he talks bad about her.

Of course you don’t want to hear your man sing praises about his ex, however if he is constantly bad mouthing her that may be a defense mechanism on his part. Maybe his ex hurt him and he never fully got over it. Maybe his lashing out about her is his way of secretly saying he misses her. The point is, he is with you and you should be the only woman on his mind.

4: If he screams her name during sex.

Kidding, This is an obvious one.

When you picture your ideal adult dating relationship in your head, what is the age difference between you and your partner?

Have you ever noticed that as you get older, age difference becomes less and less important. When you were in high school, you would probably get called names for dating someone five years younger or older than you. In your twenties, it is possible than a significant age difference between you and your partner may cause a stir amongst family members and possibly friends. But when you’re in your thirties I don’t believe it matters anymore.

Think of it this way. Do you have any younger siblings? Would you consider it weird to date your younger sibling’s friend? The same goes for an older sibling, or a parent’s co-worker. Would you feel comfortable in that situation? If you are twenty four, would you date someone ten years older than you?

Another argument could be that age doesn’t negate a personality. There are some women under the age of twenty-five who are mature enough to date men in their thirties and forties. And there are men in their thirties who have the same level of maturity as sixteen year old girls.

And finally, there are some men and women who believe that “age ain’t nothing but a number”, and as long as you are of legal age they will be willing to have sex with you. Hey, if the shoe fits, right?

In the dating world, men and women can be treated very differently by society and by each other just because they are two different sexes. This is because of evil double standards. Some people say that traditions of dating between men and women have been ingrained into society and that is why women get perks in some aspects of the relationship, whereas men get other perks and vice versa. I have compiled a list of the most blatant and most common double standards in the world of adult dating.

1. Breakups

Men seem to get shafted when it comes to breakups. Unless the woman did something blatantly horrible like cheating on him with his best friend, the double standard will come into play. If a man breaks up with a woman, he is a jerk. If a woman break up with a man, it must mean he is a jerk. Either way, men are screwed.

2. Paying for a Meal

Back in the times when chivalry wasn’t dead, it was assumed that men should pay for the meal. These days, this topic is often debated. Deciding who should pay for a meal should be based upon who asked who out for the date. Seems fair. Well, the double standard here is that, most of the time men are the ones who initiate the date. Rarely do women ask men out.

3. Cheating

Now this is a tricky one, as I personally don’t believe anyone should be having sex outside of their monogamous relationship. However, many people believe that if a woman slips up and cheats in a relationship it is because her man was not satisfying her in some way; somehow her decision to cheat is her man’s fault. And the double standard here is if he cheats, it is because he has a man and an uncontrollable libido which gives him the need to band anything in sight.

4. Whipped or Clingy?

If men want to spend quality loving, relaxing time with their women, they are viewed by their friends etc. as being “whipped”. If women want to spend a lot of quality time with their man they are seen as the “clingy” girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend some quality time with each other, it is good for the relationship and helps with bonding.

5. Glorified and Ostracized

In a relationship that is not exclusive and everyone is aware that both parties are allowed to see other people, men are always seen as a “pimp” or “da man” if they hook up with as many ladies as possible. On the other hand, if a woman does the exact same thing she is deemed a “slut” by society. Is this fair? Not at all.

It’s a small world after all. What would you do if you were in a semi-decent relationship where you were completely under appreciated and did everything you could to make sure the level of trust was built up to where is should be but your partner was too insecure, or had too many commitment issues? It’s frustrating and tiring to try and convince your parter that you love, and who you know loves you that there is no threat to the trust in a relationship. But, then again, sometimes the people you’re dating can’t change their ways and will always think there are underlying causes as to why you got home five minutes later than expected (and no, you weren’t having sex with some random).

So, what would you do if you became close friends with a coworker? Say this coworker was extremely good-looking, you two had a lot in common i.e. mutual friends, or you grew up in the same town. It’s very easy to fall for a man or woman you are really good friends with, despite being in a relationship or not. Let’s reference The Office for a moment. Jim and Pam’s characters always had great chemistry. Pam was engaged to be married to Roy who worked in the same building in the warehouse. As the days crept closer to her wedding, Jim was falling more and more in love with Pam. He confessed his undying love for her, and even though she felt the same way towards him she could not break away from the wedding to Roy. Eventually  she dumped Roy before the wedding and ended up marrying Jim. Happily ever after.

This whole concept may seem uncommon, or unlikely, but it is very common for coworkers to develop sexual or even romantic feelings for each other. Think about it, you spend eight hours a day with each other – you’re bound to either love them or hate them – plus you probably know every detail about their lives based on the fact that you’re always around each other. Maybe office romances aren’t such a bad idea after all. Actually, yes, yes they are.

Ladies: there are many ways to attract a male’s attention without uttering one word. Flirting doesn’t necessarily mean speaking. Think about it; when you’re out and about on the street doing you daily chores and catch a glimpse of a hottie in close vicinity, its much easier to smile, wink, or basically eye-fuck the hell out of the guy. Surprisingly, a lot of men find it attractive for women to subtly drop hints without speaking a word. You know you’re exuding sex, but here are some subtle ways to catch his attention and make him feel the same way about you as you do.

1. Smile, with your teeth. Don’t attempt to give a model face, a duck face, or a sultry face that makes you look constipated. If you smile like a normal human being, he will think you’re cute.

2. Add him on Facebook. Don’t try and creep his pictures without adding him. Be obvious about it; add him and start a simple conversation. Trust me, this is much more attractive than having someone “poke” you. What the hell is the point of a “poke” anyway?

3. Grab his arm during the scary part of the movie. Slight physical contact can go a long way with a guy. The fact that you are making the “first move” is super sexy in his eyes.

4. Dance, with or without him. A woman who can take the dance floor on her own is even sexier than a women dancing with someone else on the dance floor.

5. Thumb wrestle. I know it sounds lame, but it’s a chance for you two to get a little competative, and hold hands at the same time. Score.

6. Be amazing at whatever you do best. He will notice, and will find it incredibly sexy. Whether it is doing math really fast in your head, reciting lines from any given movie, or knowing the lyrics to all your favourite songs.

7. Touch him in an un-erogenous zone, on purpose. “Accidentally” graze his elbow with your arm. He will definitely take notice.