Adult Dating History

Yes, I watch MTV‘s show Jersey Shore. It is the best worst show on television. It is like watching a car-wreck happen; I can’t look away. However, it hit me the other day, the young generation of today is watching Jersey Shore for all of the wrong reasons and are taking all the wrong lessons from the show. Let me explain.

1. Sex

Growing up I was always told I should wait until I fell in love and had a girlfriend before I had sex for the first time. Of course, when I was in high school those “rules” were changed slightly, but I still lost my virginity to a girl that I was dating, and we ended up staying together for a little over a year.

The kids (adults) on Jersey Shore treat sex like a hobby or past time. They have no emotional connections, and fuck just for the sake of fucking. It’s sad really because the youth of today are probably watching the show and thinking that these actions are the norm. THEY AREN’T. Don’t think because Snooki decides to “do sex” one night that you can go out and sleep with anyone you want. These JS kids are not normal and are on a television show.

2. The English Language

These dumb ass kids are clearly not educated. Using words like “smush” to describe sex and “twinning” to describe bringing home twins to “smush” makes me cringe. Whats even worse is hearing teens on the streets use these words in actual sentences. They’ve also created a bunch of new and ridiculous abbreviations such as but not limited to: GTL, DTF, FTD, GFA, IFF and MIA. Ugly women are “grenades” and daily routines are summed up into one abbreviation:GTL- gym, tan, laundry. Somewhere all of the great philosophers who ever lived are rolling in their graves.

3. Dating

The way dating is portrayed on the show is between Ronnie and Sammie. They beat each other up, get obliterated drunk and verbally abuse the shit out of each other and spend all night “making up” in bed and repeat the whole scenario again the next night. This is not normal behavior. This is abusive behavior, but young people are watching it and they are thinking it is normal, which leads to an increase in abusive relationships. Great, way to go MTV.

4. Enjoying an Alcoholic Beverage

Everyone on the show sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, and go clubbing all night until the wee hours of the morning. They drink as much as humanly possible (maybe even more) and glorify the fact that they are drunk/hungover/drunk and getting laid/ drunk and fighting/drunk and basically anything.

They live their lives on TV like a constant frat party. Of course, someone of my age an intelligence knows that these kids probably don’t live every day of their lives like that and MTV edits a lot of shit together to make for more on-air drama, but young kids don’t know that. They take everything at face value. So many kids go out and party like idiots because of this show. I’m not saying I was a saint back in the day, but I knew my limit and I wasn’t sick and hungover every single day.

Have you ever been in an adult dating relationship where you discovered that the man or woman you were dating was spying on you? Did you catch them reading your list of protected Tweets, or were they reading your private messages on Facebook? Did you leave your cell phone out one day only to catch them flipping through your text messages with friends of the opposite sex?

Clearly the man or woman you are dating had extreme commitment issues, self-esteem issues and trust issues. Even if you are giving him or her no reason to believe you are cheating or doing anything inappropriate or negative to destroy the relationship, your partner will continue to search for things to prove otherwise.

This is what we in the industry like to call a person who is addicted to drama. Maybe they had a destructive relationship before they started dating you and they aren’t sure how to deal with the normalcy that is your relationship. Maybe they found out that you have cheated in your past on past boyfriends/girlfriends and they are having a hard time trusting that you won’t cheat on them. Or maybe they are cheating on you and feel guilty so their way of dealing with it is to constantly find ways to blame you for unnecessary reasons. Their train of though is “if my partner feels bad about themselves, they’ll never suspect my cheating.” Well if you or anyone you know acts this way, they are wrong. They are creating an unhealthy relationship environment for the both of you, and personally I would highly suggest leaving that relationship.

Sure you may love him or her, sure they may be really good looking, but if you find yourself dreading going home after work because you have to deal with your partner’s immaturities, this should be a red flag that you need out.

If the man you are dating were a cartoon character, what character would he be most similar to?

1. George of the Jungle – Extremely well built, willing to do anything for his woman but has a few screws loose. Maybe he fell from a few trees.

2. Woody Woodpecker – Life of the party, loud and outgoing but a little annoying at times. It’s as if he’s on a constant coke binge.

3. Donald Duck – He’s cynical, loves to roll his eyes and walk around with no pants on. He is a true man, and not ashamed to display his body.

4. Underdog- He is sweet and underestimated. He is constantly trying to woo you, and will put on a brave face to defend your honor any day.

5. Popeye – Sex with him is amazing; he has so much energy from the healthy food he is constantly eating. He is also in great shape and sticks by his one true love until the day he dies.

Would you date a man or woman who considered curse words  part of their every day vocabulary?

When you’re young and move away from home you are free to do whatever you want. You may even pick up the habit of saying “fuck” every other sentence. But what happens when you meet someone that you find suitable for dating and they don’t like how you speak. People who curse like sailors don’t realize how harsh and dirty they sound.

Now, before I go any further, I am NOT making a judgement call. “Fuck” is my favourite word and I have nothing against men or women using “foul language”. You have to keep in mind that not everyone in this world is like that. Some people have religious beliefs that forbid them to swear. Even if they don’t find it a deal breaker to date a swearer, they may have a problem taking you home to meet the parents; especially if they are also strictly religious (and foreign).

Now, it’s not just a religious issue. Some people may literally see swearing as a turn off. They may find it immature, ugly and unprofessional. Sure, yelling curse words during sex may be uber-hot, but who wants to marry a man or woman who can’t control what they say in public?

In the end it’s your own personal opinion, of course. To each their own. But it is definitely something to think about. As the old saying goes, “You are who you hang out with”.

If you have sex with someone knowing full well they are dating someone else, are you at fault?

There are two very opposite, very compelling arguements regarding this extremely common topic. Let us hear both sides of the story and then decide for ourselves.

Side One

If you are the “third person” in an affair, you technically aren’t doing anything wrong. You are single and having sex and having fun. If the person you are “having fun with” happens to be in a relationship, that is their issue and not yours. It’s not like you forced them to hook up; they made that decision on their own. Hell, they even seduced you. You know they are having as much fun as you are, and even though this may be breaking up a relationship, it is not your fault.

Side Two

You know full well that you are destryoing a relationship. How would you feel if you found out your partner was cheating on you? You would probably want to wring the necks of both your partner and the “cheatee”. Knowing this, how can you have a proper affair? You are being a huge hypocrite and your actions are extremely disgraceful. There are millions of men/women in this world for you to start a sex dating relationship with, why do you have to choose and be with someone who already has a significant other?

Decision

If you are going to sleep with someone who is taken, you should know better, but at the end of the day it is their issue and not yours.

Barney Stinson, a fictional character from the television series How I Met Your Mother plays by his own rules. He can be best described as a serial-womanizer who is always wearing a suit and like to hit on women with daddy issues. Stinson has created highly developed methods of winning the affection of women, getting into their pants, and ditching them after having sex with them a.s.a.p the next morning. This lifestyle is how he, not unlike a lot of men, likes to live his life.

Stinson takes pride in being single, following the rules of the “Bro Code” as strict as possible, and partying. Despite the fact that he is in his early thirties, he acts as if he has no desire to settle down, get married and have kids, ever.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with not believing in marriage, or not wanting children. There are many middle-aged single people who are having the time of their lives, also there are many couples who aren’t married and never plan on getting married because they believe a piece of paper shouldn’t define a relationship. I respect that. However, after a certain point in your life, I believe the frat boy lifestyle should die down. If not, you will always be viewed as the sad old man who can’t cut the umbilical cord on his youth. If you’re in your fifties and your idea of a good night out is drinking, bar hopping, staying up until five in the morning and picking up chicks who could pass as your daughter, maybe you should re-think your lifestyle choices.

Are you a commitment-phobe? Do you secretly want to settle down and have a family but don’t want to give up your “cool” lifestyle and reputation? If any of this rings a bell, maybe you should reassess your lifestyle choices. If you genuinely are a middle aged man acting like a nineteen year old and having the time of your life, then who am I to tell you to stop?

Try dating someone. It really isn’t that bad. Worst case scenario, you can’t handle the situation, so you dump her.

If you’ve been in the dating game for a while, you will know that there are certain things – minor things- that always seem to happen. And there are also minor things that you should probably prevent from happening but knowingly don’t.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain. We all come across, in our adult dating lives, little “pitchforks” in the road of love where the course of our actions could change the fate of our relationships. Most of the time we act a certain way even though we know better. Here are truths that you shouldn’t ignore while dating.

* Don’t send that extra text, email, etc asking him if he got your last message; you’ll regret it

* If the conversation of sex comes up and you are comfortable discussing it, then don’t force yourself on him at the end of the night; you know better

* If a man breaks up with you out of nowhere, odds are it IS because of something you did

* Don’t rush to Facebook the second you two are dating to change your relationship status. Maybe wait until he does it first.

* It pays to wait to sleep with him if you REALLY do like him.

* There is no shame in keeping an overnight bag handy. It’s being savvy.

* If a guy is constantly trash talking his ex, there is no doubt he will refer to you the same way if you two ever break up.

* If its only been a month and the relationship is hard work, imagine it ten years from now; it’s not getting any easier.

* If a guy rates woman on a scale from 1 to 10, ditch him. Plain and simple.

* If he brags about his bedroom skills or his bags of money truth is, he is lacking in both areas. Just be aware.

There is something about so called “bad boys” that many women find irresistible. Unfortunately, these “boys” can cause a lot of trouble to your dating life. The key is to stay away from them. As much as you probably don’t want to, its for the sake of your own good. Follow these steps and you’ll see how easy it can be to get over your phase of only loving “bad boys”.

1. Don’t hook up, kiss, have sex or do anything with these boys. Women feel emotionally attached to men they hook up with. Guys, on the other hand, don’t always have this feeling and are usually just thinking with their, uh, “other” head. If you know that you are the type of girl to get attached easily, stay away from any intimate moment that may occur with a “bad boy”.

2. Don’t hang out with each other often. Girls and guys both tend to flirt, and you don’t want someone getting the wrong idea. If you want to stay friends with this person and still want to hang out with them, invite some of your friends so that its not always a one-on-one thing.

3. The key is to stay friends with him. Always try and view him as “one of the girls” in your eyes. That way it will be easier not to want to jump his bones.

4. Keep telling yourself, no matter how sexy and funny and badass he is – he is bad news! Sure, if you two hookup it will probably be great while it lasts, but that won’t be for long. And once he’s done having his way with you he’ll just move on the the next chick that tickles his fancy. Bad boys don’t care about your feelings, they just want to get what they want, when they want; if you catch my drift.