Adult Dating History

The feeling of horniness is a good indication that the body wants sex or a masturbation session. It also, strangely enough, can point toward a good time to dive head first into another kind of satisfying pursuit. It may be overreaching to say don’t tap into that favorite adult sex search when you get excited, but once in a while it is a good idea to see where following that energy to another place might lead.

Sexual excitement is a powerful force. When sublimated into a creative pursuit, amazing work can be the result. Think about the sheer power of the sex drive. Then think about that force sublimated into bursts of paint on a canvas, the passionate creation of a clay sculpture, or even the meticulous preparation of a fabulous meal. There is something about the procreative drive that has a deep kinship with the creative drive.

Even in terms nonspecific to linking the creative with the procreative urges, just the pure vigor of the energy associated with the sex drive can be put to good use elsewhere. In some sports traditions, coaches will tell their teams not to get laid the night before the big game. It could be that the extra anxiety level from not having an orgasm too close to the time of the game can give a sports figure an edge to kick it into high gear. It could be an interesting experiment for anyone to try out taking a break from sexual gratification to see what else might come of it, so to speak. A passionate essay, a vigorous dance routine, or a killer tennis match, perhaps? You never know if holding off from beating off will give you an advantage.

After the experiment, it is always nice to get back to basics. You may have discovered that your horny self is a great songwriter. You can celebrate by calling a fuck buddy and enjoying to your heart’s content.

A married couple doesn’t have to be bored or dissatisfied with one another to want to explore. Some, in fact, start out knowing that they want to have lives of multiple loves and erotic adventure. For open couples such as those, free dating arrangements are one way to go.

The freest of arrangements is usually characterized by full ability to date, love, and make love on any whim by either party. Sometimes this is the best thing for very confident couples. They are solid in their love for one another and experience joy for the other when they hear about a wonderful new lover. For couples of this nature, an outside experience can even serve to deepen their primary romantic bond.

Other couples decide to have more rules. Rules are not generally made to restrict out of a sense of jealously, but instead are in place to maintain the integrity of the primary relationship as they understand it. For some, the main rule could be as simple as each partner just letting the other partner know if they are planning to indulge in the fruits of another. For others, it may be that Friday night is their night to be together, so there will be no dates with others during that time. A fairly universal and infinitely wise rule is that safer sex must always be used.

Freedom is a great thing for open couples, but as with any system, it is not without complications. The biggest obstacle to responsible free dating is lack of communication. Every single person has different desires and needs. One person, even one who has been part of a poly community for many years, is not necessarily well versed in the protocol and expectations of another. Too much is often assumed by monogamous couples about how things work. Open couples can make the same mistakes. Partners talking with one another is the way to make a good open marriage sublime.

A lot of people, especially young women, have a fixed image in their head of the type of person they want to end up with. We’ve all heard about little girls fantasizing about their weddings; well this is similar. Young men and women usually have a “type” fixated into their minds of what type of person they believe they will end up with. Whether it is certain specific physical attributes like “having dark hair” or “being taller than me”, what they do for a living like “high powered attorney at law” or “paramedic”, or certain specific personality characteristics like “hilarious” or “well read” would you be ready to accept someone into your private life that did not meet these previous expectations?

These expectations are usually based on media influences in our lives, but what if you find yourself falling for someone who you never thought you’d end up with. Is it a deal breaker in your eyes?

Barbara, a 29 year old single mother and social worker had been checking out an adult dating site for about three weeks when a man named Brian messaged her. They chatted back and forth non-stop for about five hours, but Barbara was surprised when she finally clicked on his profile and saw that he was Korean.

“I always assumed I’d end up with a white guy,” Barbara said. “That’s just what I pictured.”

For many women, race –just like age — can be a major deal breaker because of internalized ideas of what our future partner will look like and be like. If you feel like you fall into this category, it may be time to start considering every option – not just the options who you feel suit you.

For example, the next time you’re on a dating site, check off all the boxes in the search engine when it asks you what type of man/woman you are looking for. Just because you’ve never dated an Indian woman before doesnt mean she wouldnt make an amazing girlfriend. Just because you’ve never dated an Asian man before doesnt mean he wouldnt be great hubby material.

The above statistics were taken from a popular online dating site. They illustrate how race has an affect on who we decide to message and respond to online.

Recently in celebrity news, Ashlee Simpson reportedly drunk dialed her ex-husband and baby-daddy Pete Wentz claiming how much she missed him and how much she wanted to get back together with him.

Drunk dialing never leads to a positive outcome,. Whether you decide to drunk dial a friend for a quick sex session, an ex dating parter confessing your undying love, or an enemy because you feel full of liquid courage it is never a good idea. If you know you are prone to drunk dialing, you should really try your best to use any help out there that will stop you in your drunken tracks.

If you have an iPhone you can download an app called Beer Goggles. This app will block you from making phone calls to certain numbers past a certain time at night (assuming you are drunk). I highly suggest you download this app of you are prone to drunk dialing.

The problem with people who like to drunk dial is exactly that – they LIKE to drunk dial. They know its wrong, but they still seek joy in doing it. They know they are causing shit but when they’re drunk they just don’t care.

Yes, I watch MTV‘s show Jersey Shore. It is the best worst show on television. It is like watching a car-wreck happen; I can’t look away. However, it hit me the other day, the young generation of today is watching Jersey Shore for all of the wrong reasons and are taking all the wrong lessons from the show. Let me explain.

1. Sex

Growing up I was always told I should wait until I fell in love and had a girlfriend before I had sex for the first time. Of course, when I was in high school those “rules” were changed slightly, but I still lost my virginity to a girl that I was dating, and we ended up staying together for a little over a year.

The kids (adults) on Jersey Shore treat sex like a hobby or past time. They have no emotional connections, and fuck just for the sake of fucking. It’s sad really because the youth of today are probably watching the show and thinking that these actions are the norm. THEY AREN’T. Don’t think because Snooki decides to “do sex” one night that you can go out and sleep with anyone you want. These JS kids are not normal and are on a television show.

2. The English Language

These dumb ass kids are clearly not educated. Using words like “smush” to describe sex and “twinning” to describe bringing home twins to “smush” makes me cringe. Whats even worse is hearing teens on the streets use these words in actual sentences. They’ve also created a bunch of new and ridiculous abbreviations such as but not limited to: GTL, DTF, FTD, GFA, IFF and MIA. Ugly women are “grenades” and daily routines are summed up into one abbreviation:GTL- gym, tan, laundry. Somewhere all of the great philosophers who ever lived are rolling in their graves.

3. Dating

The way dating is portrayed on the show is between Ronnie and Sammie. They beat each other up, get obliterated drunk and verbally abuse the shit out of each other and spend all night “making up” in bed and repeat the whole scenario again the next night. This is not normal behavior. This is abusive behavior, but young people are watching it and they are thinking it is normal, which leads to an increase in abusive relationships. Great, way to go MTV.

4. Enjoying an Alcoholic Beverage

Everyone on the show sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, and go clubbing all night until the wee hours of the morning. They drink as much as humanly possible (maybe even more) and glorify the fact that they are drunk/hungover/drunk and getting laid/ drunk and fighting/drunk and basically anything.

They live their lives on TV like a constant frat party. Of course, someone of my age an intelligence knows that these kids probably don’t live every day of their lives like that and MTV edits a lot of shit together to make for more on-air drama, but young kids don’t know that. They take everything at face value. So many kids go out and party like idiots because of this show. I’m not saying I was a saint back in the day, but I knew my limit and I wasn’t sick and hungover every single day.

At first thought, you may think emotional cheating pails in comparison to physical cheating. Physical involves, well, getting physical. Having sex with the person you are not dating is the ultimate deal breaker for the majority of people I know. Physical cheating is the ultimate backstab. It’s the ultimate betrayal. It’s horrible.

But wrap your head around this thought …

Emotional cheating involves…emotions. Wouldn’t you be more hurt if your partner was more emotionally attached to someone else as opposed to just having sex for the sake of fucking? Emotions run deep, sex is….sex. Emotional cheating involves pre-thought, planning, knowing that you are going to do what you are going. Physical cheating is more likely to happen “out of nowhere”. Emotional cheaters are well aware of what they are doing.

Knowing that, I would have to say that emotional cheating is just as bad, if not worse than physical cheating.

What do you guys think ?

A YouTube video of a couple from Windsor, Canada has gone viral. Before I explain what the video is about, keep this in mind: “Would you do all of this for the person you are dating?”

The video is shot by the groom’s best friend and is supposed to document the groom’s amazing proposal idea. He spent a year planning out his wedding to his fiance down to the fine details including what the centerpieces should look like and what music should play. He subtly got input from his then girlfriend, soon-to-be fiance, so that technically she was the one who planned her own wedding.

On the day of the proposal, she was driven  by her sister to the building where the wedding was scheduled to take place. Keep in mind, she had no idea that she was going to be proposed to, let alone have her wedding. When she arrived, there was a red carpet awaiting her, covered in flower petals. Her boyfriend got down on one knee, asked for her hand in marriage and then surprised her again saying their wedding was all planned and ready to start any minute.

She said yes and they ended up going through with the plans the groom had been working on for a year.

Now think about this situation. It’s very cute, very unique and extremely time consuming/creative. This is a lot of pressure to put on someone. You have to be ABSOLUTELY SURE that your partner wants to marry you before going to all this trouble. Would you do this for your fiance? If you were proposed to, and your fiance surprised you with a wedding on-the-spot as well, would you say yes? (Assuming you already had your dress – in this case, the bride already had her dress. I believe the back story was the couple planned on eloping).

The age old question regarding dating has always been “Who pays the bill after dinner?”. This controversial question has given way to such answers as “The man, chivalry is not dead”, “Whoever made the date pays”, “Split the tab 50/50″, “Pay for what you ate” and the extremely unpopular “The woman, feminism rise!”

Now that online adult dating has become more than just a trend and has transitioned over into an actual lifestyle for many people in this day and age, how does this age-old controversial question apply? Should you judge who pays based on who messaged who first, or who set the first offline date?

Keep in mind, this is assuming that your first offline date together will involve some sort of financial loss i.e. paying for a meal, paying to go to a museum, paying to rent skates, etc. Chivalry is not dead, but I don’t think it is fair to assume the man should pay for everything.

Whenever I go out on dates the rule I go by is “Whoever made the date pays”. However there are SOME exceptions to this rule. If you asked her out and you order the pasta and she orders the lobster and has three glasses of wine, then maybe she should help out with the tip. After all, its only fair if you knowingly pick the most expensive items on the menu, no?

Yes, making love can be all sweet and romantic, but during sex you may not want to know what your man is really thinking. Recently there was a trending topic on Twitter called #ThingsIDoDuringSex. Here are some of my favorites.

“Sweat. If you’re not sweating, you’re not doing your job.” —June

“Give out high fives.” —Tajj  (does this happen in orgies, Tajj?)

“Study Latin.” —Austy

“Make a series of online charitable donations because there’s no wrong time to do that.” —Todd (Hilarious!)

“Stay on beat to whatever music is playing.” —Storm (Guilty.)

“Go through her purse when she’s not looking and take a 20.” —Ray (Rude..)

“Press record on my cam when she’s not looking.” —Evander (Creep…)

“Cry.” —Shane

“Make her say my name…and then make sure the neighbors know it too.” —Shotyme

“Tweet what position I’m doing.” —Will (Way to stick with the theme, Will)

“Make sure you’re awake.” —Ernesto

“Pretend I’m John Henry vs. the steam powered machine.” —Eddie

“Calculate the accrued interest of my savings account.” —Shaun

“Laugh in my head at the faces she makes.” –Rich (Don’t we all.)

“Think about the next round after this…” —Graffiti (Ditto.)

~

Have you ever been in an adult dating relationship where you discovered that the man or woman you were dating was spying on you? Did you catch them reading your list of protected Tweets, or were they reading your private messages on Facebook? Did you leave your cell phone out one day only to catch them flipping through your text messages with friends of the opposite sex?

Clearly the man or woman you are dating had extreme commitment issues, self-esteem issues and trust issues. Even if you are giving him or her no reason to believe you are cheating or doing anything inappropriate or negative to destroy the relationship, your partner will continue to search for things to prove otherwise.

This is what we in the industry like to call a person who is addicted to drama. Maybe they had a destructive relationship before they started dating you and they aren’t sure how to deal with the normalcy that is your relationship. Maybe they found out that you have cheated in your past on past boyfriends/girlfriends and they are having a hard time trusting that you won’t cheat on them. Or maybe they are cheating on you and feel guilty so their way of dealing with it is to constantly find ways to blame you for unnecessary reasons. Their train of though is “if my partner feels bad about themselves, they’ll never suspect my cheating.” Well if you or anyone you know acts this way, they are wrong. They are creating an unhealthy relationship environment for the both of you, and personally I would highly suggest leaving that relationship.

Sure you may love him or her, sure they may be really good looking, but if you find yourself dreading going home after work because you have to deal with your partner’s immaturities, this should be a red flag that you need out.