A lot of people, especially young women, have a fixed image in their head of the type of person they want to end up with. We’ve all heard about little girls fantasizing about their weddings; well this is similar. Young men and women usually have a “type” fixated into their minds of what type of person they believe they will end up with. Whether it is certain specific physical attributes like “having dark hair” or “being taller than me”, what they do for a living like “high powered attorney at law” or “paramedic”, or certain specific personality characteristics like “hilarious” or “well read” would you be ready to accept someone into your private life that did not meet these previous expectations?
These expectations are usually based on media influences in our lives, but what if you find yourself falling for someone who you never thought you’d end up with. Is it a deal breaker in your eyes?
Barbara, a 29 year old single mother and social worker had been checking out an adult dating site for about three weeks when a man named Brian messaged her. They chatted back and forth non-stop for about five hours, but Barbara was surprised when she finally clicked on his profile and saw that he was Korean.
“I always assumed I’d end up with a white guy,” Barbara said. “That’s just what I pictured.”
For many women, race –just like age — can be a major deal breaker because of internalized ideas of what our future partner will look like and be like. If you feel like you fall into this category, it may be time to start considering every option – not just the options who you feel suit you.
For example, the next time you’re on a dating site, check off all the boxes in the search engine when it asks you what type of man/woman you are looking for. Just because you’ve never dated an Indian woman before doesnt mean she wouldnt make an amazing girlfriend. Just because you’ve never dated an Asian man before doesnt mean he wouldnt be great hubby material.