September 25th, 2012
The feeling of horniness is a good indication that the body wants sex or a masturbation session. It also, strangely enough, can point toward a good time to dive head first into another kind of satisfying pursuit. It may be overreaching to say don’t tap into that favorite adult sex search when you get excited, but once in a while it is a good idea to see where following that energy to another place might lead.
Sexual excitement is a powerful force. When sublimated into a creative pursuit, amazing work can be the result. Think about the sheer power of the sex drive. Then think about that force sublimated into bursts of paint on a canvas, the passionate creation of a clay sculpture, or even the meticulous preparation of a fabulous meal. There is something about the procreative drive that has a deep kinship with the creative drive.
Even in terms nonspecific to linking the creative with the procreative urges, just the pure vigor of the energy associated with the sex drive can be put to good use elsewhere. In some sports traditions, coaches will tell their teams not to get laid the night before the big game. It could be that the extra anxiety level from not having an orgasm too close to the time of the game can give a sports figure an edge to kick it into high gear. It could be an interesting experiment for anyone to try out taking a break from sexual gratification to see what else might come of it, so to speak. A passionate essay, a vigorous dance routine, or a killer tennis match, perhaps? You never know if holding off from beating off will give you an advantage.
After the experiment, it is always nice to get back to basics. You may have discovered that your horny self is a great songwriter. You can celebrate by calling a fuck buddy and enjoying to your heart’s content.
September 12th, 2012
A married couple doesn’t have to be bored or dissatisfied with one another to want to explore. Some, in fact, start out knowing that they want to have lives of multiple loves and erotic adventure. For open couples such as those, free dating arrangements are one way to go.
The freest of arrangements is usually characterized by full ability to date, love, and make love on any whim by either party. Sometimes this is the best thing for very confident couples. They are solid in their love for one another and experience joy for the other when they hear about a wonderful new lover. For couples of this nature, an outside experience can even serve to deepen their primary romantic bond.
Other couples decide to have more rules. Rules are not generally made to restrict out of a sense of jealously, but instead are in place to maintain the integrity of the primary relationship as they understand it. For some, the main rule could be as simple as each partner just letting the other partner know if they are planning to indulge in the fruits of another. For others, it may be that Friday night is their night to be together, so there will be no dates with others during that time. A fairly universal and infinitely wise rule is that safer sex must always be used.
Freedom is a great thing for open couples, but as with any system, it is not without complications. The biggest obstacle to responsible free dating is lack of communication. Every single person has different desires and needs. One person, even one who has been part of a poly community for many years, is not necessarily well versed in the protocol and expectations of another. Too much is often assumed by monogamous couples about how things work. Open couples can make the same mistakes. Partners talking with one another is the way to make a good open marriage sublime.
July 12th, 2012
Decided to re-post this since I had a little crying fit myself last night!:
A new adult dating study out of the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel, and published recently in Science magazine, says that women’s tears shut down male sexual desires.
Female tears contain pheromones, which are chemical signals excreted in order to communicate with others. Their very existence has been much debated, but this study is more proof that they do indeed exist.
In this study, women watched sob-inducing movies all by their lonesomes and then caught their tears in vials. (This sounds like some weird set up for a bad sex novel). Later, men sniffed either the real tears of jars of saline that had been dripped down the women’s cheeks. Men who sniffed tears found the pictures of the women’s faces to be less sexually attractive than the men who sniffed saline, but both had similar feelings of empathy.
In a different experiment, men sniffed tears or saline and then reported on how sexually aroused they were. Again, the tear-sniffers were less aroused.
And finally, researchers stuck tears or saline up to the noses of a group of other men and then scanned their brains with MRIs; similarly, the tear-sniffers showed much lower levels of activity in the parts of their brain controlling sexual arousal.
Attempted explanation by science people: this is an evolutionary adaptation to lower aggression, increase social bonding and so on. Whatever the case, sex and crying don’t go together.
January 15th, 2012
If you are among the single men looking to enter the Adult dating world consider patience first. The Adult dating world isn’t just about a bunch of people that want to fuck all the time it’s about people trying to satisfy a certain need. You have to determine whether that is what you really want. For instance you could be in a place where romance is what you want but you are just horny at the moment. You’d be better off just using porn to get rid of the urge. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about the entanglements you are going to make. If you are making the wrong decision you are getting entangled with things that will be difficult at best to get out of. Read more »
January 6th, 2012
The Adult dating sites that are available online are just chock full of attractive people, all looking for other nice and attractive people to spend time with whether it be time spent dating, chatting, having a romance, or having hot sex together. So where do we take our hot date when we connect with someone on one of the sites and actually make plans to meet them in person?
Some people like to stick to the safe and secure coffee date in a well lighted public place for their first dates. Others like to be a little bit more adventurous, especially if they feel that there is a potential for a sexual connection, and they go for a dinner date or a date to meet for drinks. Wherever we go, it is important to pick a place that is not so happening that we can not hear a word that the other person says. Yes, taking them somewhere trendy may be somewhat impressive and show them that you made an effort, but how will you get to know them if you can not interact with them?
Truly, there really is no perfect place for a first date, just as there is really no horrible place for a first date. When we come down to it, we will either have good romantic and sexual chemistry between the two of us or we will not. These are the things that can not be faked, forced or coaxed into existence no matter how hard we may try. The location that we chose will always take a secondary position to our feisty pheromones and our deep gut feelings so it is best not to get too stressed out about trying to pick the perfect location.
So go where you will. Be polite, be well groomed, be honest and most importantly be yourself and the rest will work out exactly the way that it is supposed to.
November 30th, 2011
A lot of people, especially young women, have a fixed image in their head of the type of person they want to end up with. We’ve all heard about little girls fantasizing about their weddings; well this is similar. Young men and women usually have a “type” fixated into their minds of what type of person they believe they will end up with. Whether it is certain specific physical attributes like “having dark hair” or “being taller than me”, what they do for a living like “high powered attorney at law” or “paramedic”, or certain specific personality characteristics like “hilarious” or “well read” would you be ready to accept someone into your private life that did not meet these previous expectations?
These expectations are usually based on media influences in our lives, but what if you find yourself falling for someone who you never thought you’d end up with. Is it a deal breaker in your eyes?
Barbara, a 29 year old single mother and social worker had been checking out an adult dating site for about three weeks when a man named Brian messaged her. They chatted back and forth non-stop for about five hours, but Barbara was surprised when she finally clicked on his profile and saw that he was Korean.
“I always assumed I’d end up with a white guy,” Barbara said. “That’s just what I pictured.”
For many women, race –just like age — can be a major deal breaker because of internalized ideas of what our future partner will look like and be like. If you feel like you fall into this category, it may be time to start considering every option – not just the options who you feel suit you.
For example, the next time you’re on a dating site, check off all the boxes in the search engine when it asks you what type of man/woman you are looking for. Just because you’ve never dated an Indian woman before doesnt mean she wouldnt make an amazing girlfriend. Just because you’ve never dated an Asian man before doesnt mean he wouldnt be great hubby material.
The above statistics were taken from a popular online dating site. They illustrate how race has an affect on who we decide to message and respond to online.
November 10th, 2011
It is never a good feeling to have, but it does happen. You’re finally dating a man that you genuinely like – possibly even love – and you get the feeling he doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe its the fact the he just got out of a long term relationship, or he is in some way still in contact with his ex. These following steps may shed some light on whether he is over his ex or not. Keep in mind, these are just possibilities – NOT hard facts.
1: If he’s constantly texting her.
If your man is in contact with his ex on a regular basis it does not mean he still has feelings. If he is constantly checking his phone to see if she has messages or refuses to show you the texts if you ask to see what they are talking about then you may have a problem on your hands.
2: If they attend a wedding together.
Okay, so they used to date for a while and probably have a lot of mutual friends who are getting married. It only makes sense that they attend the wedding as each other’s plus ones. However, if the thought of them dancing together, drinking together and possibly spending the night together makes your stomach turn than your should mention this to your man. If he has any sense at all he will take you as his date to the wedding.
3: If he talks bad about her.
Of course you don’t want to hear your man sing praises about his ex, however if he is constantly bad mouthing her that may be a defense mechanism on his part. Maybe his ex hurt him and he never fully got over it. Maybe his lashing out about her is his way of secretly saying he misses her. The point is, he is with you and you should be the only woman on his mind.
4: If he screams her name during sex.
Kidding, This is an obvious one.
October 28th, 2011
A major step in an adult dating relationship is making the mutual decision to meet each others parents/ family. Meeting the family of the man or woman you are dating means your relationship is taking a fairly serious turn. Depending on your age – most young relationships go through the process of ‘meeting the parents’ much sooner than others, therefore it has a lesser meaning than, say, a couple in their mid 20s – this relationship ritual can be a very serious, sacred and meaningful thing.
Meeting the parents can also be nerve wracking. What if his mother doesn’t like you? What if her father doesn’t think you are good enough for his ‘baby girl’? There are so many “what ifs” what will be filtering in and out of your head before you actually meet your partner’s family. Try not to get too caught up in it. Over thinking has the potential to ruin any situation; it also has the potential to get an individual all worked up over nothing. Sure, you are making a first impression on the one person you love’s parents, but the best thing you can do is be yourself. If your partner loves you for being yourself, his/her parents should be able to see the same person.
Always be polite, always offer to help out in the kitchen, with cleanup aka doing the dishes. Always be social, and answer questions with more than one word answers. Make conversation with your partner’s parents, don’t treat it like an awkward job interview. Remember, ‘the parents’ want their child to be happy, and to find someone to spend the rest of their lives with (even if that’s not where you are, parents are always expecting grandchildren), but this doesnt mean they aren’t looking for ANYTHING negative about you to talk about after the visit. And even if you show a shining example of yourself, they will probably have SOME sort of criticism. But that’s what parents are for. Criticizing the things we love the most.
That was a joke – sort of. Just have fun and be respectful.
Bonus Tip: Bring a gift with you. A nice bottle of wine or expensive chocolates should do the trick.
October 20th, 2011
Many single women purchase vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, etc. because let’s face it, single people don’t have that “guaranteed sex” option like people who are on the dating market do. Many single women have at least more than one toy in their possession, so the question that I ask is would it be a wise decision for a women to introduce her boyfriend to her sex toys?
Now, the most ideal setting would be if your boyfriend brings up the topic of sex toys before you. That way you know he is interested and possibly willing to partake in sex-with-sex toys with you. This would also save you the trouble of having to think of a way of subtly bringing up the subject without scaring him off. However, I don’t really think the idea of sex toys is “scary” – but you never know.
My second point is some men may THINK that watching their woman use sex toys is hot, until they see the actual toy and become unsatisfied with the size of their own manhood. You don’t want your boyfriend to be jealous of your special toy, do you?
October 14th, 2011
Designer clothes, pricey jewels, and expensive vacations definitely provide for a fancy lifestyle, but is it really enough? According to a recent study done by The Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy suggests that materialistic couples are unhappier and fight more.
Researchers studied 1,700 couples across the nation and asked about their relationship, and how much they valued having money and a large amount of possessions. One in five couples both admitted a strong love of money, but these couples also said money was their main source of conflict. Money-loving couples scored 10 to 15 percent worse on “relationship stability” than couples who said money was not important.
So I guess there is more to having an incredible sex life with the person you are dating.
“Couples where both spouses are materialistic were worse off on nearly every measure we looked at,” study author Dr. Jason Carroll, professor of family life at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, said in a written statement. “There is a pervasive pattern in the data of eroding communication, poor conflict resolution and low responsiveness to each other.”
There is obviously more to happiness in a relationship than materialistic possessions and wealth, and here is the scientific proof to back it up.